If today was your last day…

I was lucky enough to have all four of my grandparents at my wedding in 2004.  I was also blessed to have each one of these grandparents hold my first child in 2005. Grandparents are a blessing, often overlooked as we grow and start our own families.  I was blessed enough to form close relationships with mine growing up, and on into my late twenties.

About two years ago, my Grandpa Tom passed away. Even though he was not not my “blood grandpa”, had no one told me he was actually my step-grandpa, I never would have known.  Nor did I care when I found out.  I was his “little princess”.  Curious enough, this is what I have found myself calling Brooklyn.  Every once and a while, I catch myself thinking about Grandpa when I am calling Brooklyn by this nickname.  All those years of him calling me princess must have stuck in my head.  And I think the name suits her just fine, and I think Grandpa would agree.

I think I may have had Grandpa wrapped around my finger a bit. I can rarely remember him telling me “no” or scooting me off his lap when I had been snuggled up for hours.  I can still smell his aftershave, and fondly remember him pulling me for hours around the farm on his tractor-mower.  I don’t know how many miles we put on that tractor, through the trees, up and down the ditches, round and round the farm, but it was a lot.

Early yesterday morning, my Grandma Serck passed away.  Grandma was a  kind, beautiful women who seemed to shrink (in height) as the years went by.  I remember her saying each time she saw me that she couldn’t believe how tall I was getting. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I quit growing in the sixth grade.  She  loved to garden, sew, and cook- these things I remember well.  I think she may have been best known for her baked goods – if only I had inherited a fraction of her culinary skills.  Well, I’d be four hundred pounds so it’s probably a good thing. I remember many years ago, her daughters (my mom and aunties) and our families threw a retirement party for her.  I was amazed at all the kids (young and grown) who came and raved about her food.  Now, I know my Grandma was a great cook, I had been eating her food for years and years, but how many people can say they attended their “lunch lady’s” retirement party?  If Grandma had been the cook at my school, I never would’ve brought a bag lunch, that’s for sure.  Those were some spoiled school children.

I don’t think I can ever recall Grandma ever saying a harsh word (her daughters may disagree, but maybe not) and she just had this soothing quality about her.  She never had a complaint or negative comment about anyone, and if she did, she kept it to herself.  She was a quiet woman, but you could just feel the love pouring out of every tiny bone in her body.  I always slept good at her house, and I think it was because she always welcomed us in with open arms and that kind smile, and of course warm cookies and bread.

I am so grateful that I made it to the hospital in time to say goodbye and kiss her cheeks and forehead one last time.  And even though she lived 87 good years, it’s still hard to let go of those you love.  It made me start to think that I need to start appreciating life more.  Things can change in an instant, loved ones can be gone in the blink of an eye.  I generally think that I am a “glass is half-full” type gal, but I do find myself focusing on negative things and complaining more than I probably should.  I have two wonderful, beautiful children, parents that I have a very close relationship with, and great friends that I can count on.  What more could I want?  I think this day and age, too much emphasis is put on WHAT we have in our lives, not WHO is in our lives.  And I know I am guilty of this as well.  Looking forward, I really hope I can take a lesson from Grandma Serck and focus on my wonderful friends and family in my lives and cherish every breath they take.

As I was driving home from South Dakota last night, heading back to Fargo for more funeral preparation, I heard a song on the radio by Nickelback at least three times, and I thought to myself, “how appropriate” for how I was feeling.

My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day’s a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had, if today was your last day?
What if, what if, if today was your last day?

Against the grain should be a way of life
What’s worth the price is always worth the fight
Every second counts ’cause there’s no second try
So live like you’re never living twice
Don’t take the free ride in your own life

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?

And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you’re dreaming of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you’d finally fall in love if today was your last day?

If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it’s never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are

So do whatever it takes
‘Cause you can’t rewind a moment in this life
Let nothing stand in your way
‘Cause the hands of time are never on your side

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